OK, I admit I stole the pen from the restaurant. I think they’re meant to be given away as advertising. Plus, either way, I earned it.

It was my friend Tom’s birthday. We decided to go to Seasons 52 for dinner. This location used to be a pretty good Italian restaurant across from Santa Monica Pier. Great location, especially if you want to valet park your car for an evening event at the Pier. I made my reservation on Open Table with a note “It’s Tom’s birthday! No singing please!” We arrived at the restaurant in the Santa Monica summer fog, and were promptly seated. The hostess assured us there would be no singing. Dessert would be free. There was a birthday card for Tom from the restaurant. Very nice touch.

Seasons 52 is a chain of restaurant that uses local, seasonal ingredients. Our waiter, let’s call him “Chet,” explained the menu to us. You’d think “local, seasonal” is pretty self-explanatory. Not at Seasons 52. It seems they have seasonal (that would be four a year) menus. And the chef has a special menu each week (that would be fifty two a year). On the back of the menu? Wines and beers and other beverages. Chet turned over my menu to show me. I think I had a pretty good grasp on the menu by then. Chet took my wine order, then asked, “John, what would you like?” We had no idea who John might be, so Tom ordered. Chet explained that sometime during our meal, he would be taking a photo of us and printing it out for us to take home.

We had a little dilemma when the wine arrived. I said, “Chet, Tom has a piece of gum in his mouth, and there aren’t any paper napkins.” But Chet, of course, had a solution. He took the little foil circle from the top of the wine bottle, and said, “John, you can use this.” Tom put the gum in it, and Chet crumpled it up in his hand and stuck it in his pocket. The wine was Cakebread Chardonnay, yummy. Chet asked me if I wanted the cork. I told him he could dispose of it. He told me he was taking it home, because someday he will build a wine bar. He will stand all the corks upright and cover them with glass. Plus, he’ll separate the red corks from the white ones. He’ll spell out his favorite wines in red, with the white ones for background. I told him that sounded like a very complicated project. That’s when Chet came alive.

“I’m only 28! I have my whole life ahead of me! I don’t mind turning 29! I won’t even mind turning 30! And when I’m really old, in my 40′s, I’ll be just fine!” Let me mention here that Tom and I (you know, the woman who will be tipping Chet shortly?) are over 40.

It continued. The manager stopped by, “Are your dinners awesome?” We assured him they were. My fork slipped and my tiny salsa dish upended on the table. Chet came over to clean it up and asked me if it was delicious. The salsa I spilled all over the table. How did he think I was eating it?

The manager came by again. “Everything still awesome?” We assured him awesomeness was happening. Every time Chet came by, I would say “TOM, do you need anything?” Chet would say, “Yes, John, do you need anything?” The food was delicious, if not awesome. Then the moment came for the photo.

Chet had brought his own camera. He carefully positioned the wine bottle so the label was showing, the wine glasses so the logos were showing, hid the Pellegrino bottle behind the wine bottle, put our food plates on a seat (!), and told us how to pose. I could see he was too far away to get the shot, so I said, “Maybe–” Chet cut me off. “I am an excellent photographer. I know what I’m doing. Three, two, one….” Long pause, then the flash went off. Way too bright.

Manager again. Still awesome at our table. Chet brought the photo. Completely blown out by the flash, so the details on the wine and glasses were gone. We each got cut off because he was too far away to get the shot. Gee, someone should have told him.

Time for the check. Chet deftly handled two parking validations, and change for both of us to tip with. He handed me a pen from the 15 or so in his left (non-gum!) pocket. Bonus for Tom, Chet gave him his business card. A Seasons 52 card with “Chet” written on it. I assured Chet we wouldn’t forget him. And I stole the pen.

I’m sure Chet was doing his very best to give us an awesome meal and mostly he did, so I tipped him well. John has Chet’s business card if he needs it. I have a shiny new Seasons 52 pen. Chet has his whole life ahead of him. And an amazing wine bar in his future.

Sandy asked me how I organize my closet. I can’t take all the credit. First I had the amazing Maxine Ordesky, of Organized Designs in Beverly Hills, design my closet. Maxine has years of experience and an extraordinary eye for detail. Her first two questions when designing a closet are, “How tall are you?” and “Are you left- or right-handed?”

Maxine divided the closet into two sections, casual and fancier. I can stand in the middle of either section and reach everything I need to put together an outfit. Here’s where my additional help comes in: the fabulous Tom Nevermann, the Moving Doctor.  Tom and his team organized the closet when I moved in, and everything is in the perfect place.

In each section, clothes are grouped by type and color. All items face the same direction (in my case left, because I’m right handed) , and all hangers the same direction (away from you, so you can easily pull them out).

Notice how thin the hangers are, maximizing the closet space. These are Joy Mangano’s original Huggable Hangers, though there are similar products available. They’re waterproof for hanging wet clothes. They’re textured so clothes don’t slip off. The ends are gently rounded, so they don’t make bumps in sleeves. They do not swivel, which means they don’t get tangled with each other. I won’t use any other kind of hanger.

Shelves are divided vertically, so stacked items stay in place. For instance, sweaters are on lucite shelves that slide out, so I can stack them easily without cramming them into the shelf. Sweaters are stacked with the necklines out, so I can see what kind of sweater it is.

Shoes are stored on adjustable shelves to maximize space. In each pair, one shoe has the toe out, the other the heel so I can see exactly which shoes I want. This is also efficient storage, since women’s shoes tend to be wider in the toe than in the heel.

Socks and lingerie are in drawers with lucite dividers. I had to rein in Maxine here, she wanted each item to have its own compartment. So, full disclosure, my lingerie items touch each other. Sorry, Maxine. Again, arranged by type and color, with the ones I use most often at the front.

As a curly-headed gal, I don’t wear hats much. It’s a full-day commitment once I’ve got that hat hair going on. I do have a few nice hats, but they tend to collect dust, especially the straw and velvet ones. So they’re on high shelves, out of the way, wrapped loosely in lightweight clear plastic. Purses are on high shelves, too, since I rarely use them.

Recently worn items that I don’t want to put back yet are on hooks or pull-out rods. So are any hangers that don’t have clothes on them–Maxine is unyielding on this rule: Never put an empty hanger back on the rod! She’s right. Scarves are mostly hung, not folded (unless they’re knitted ones that might stretch out). If moths are a problem, I’d recommend thin cedar paneling glued to the back wall where the clothes don’t touch it. (I have a separate cedar closet in another room. Since I live in Los Angeles, I hardly ever wear wool so I don’t need easy access to all those cold-weather clothes).

My jewelry closet in my previous home is featured in Maxine’s book The Complete Home Organizer. We made some refinements here. The goal is to have a pretty secure place to keep my jewelry. It won’t stop a determined burglar, but the carpet cleaner won’t be able to easily grab anything. The good stuff is in a safe, this is my everyday jewelry.

There are two sections, they lock with the same key. The top section has cubbyhole-style shelves, for big items. Right now it’s got my passport and some credit cards, some cash and whatever else I want to keep pretty safe and out of sight. Halloween candy. Christmas gifts.

The bigger, bottom section is divided into wooden drawers. They vary in depth, with the deeper ones (for bigger items) on the bottom. Maxine chose a fleece-like fabric to line these, so things don’t move around when I open and close the drawers.

Smaller items are in removable, adjustable lucite bins. They’re arranged by type, color, and size.

The removable bins are handy for several reasons. I can take them out to clean the jewelry, or reorganize it.. The last time I evacuated for a nearby wildfire, I just stacked the bins in a duffel bag and took them along.

Silver jewelry is in a drawer with 3M Silver Protective Strips to prevent tarnish. They’re available on Amazon, but I just drop into Norris Hardware in Pacific Palisades to get mine. Norris Hardware has been around since 1925 and they have everything. Oriole food. Pool skimmers. Silver strips.

I may sound like a clotheshorse, but I’m really not. Most of my friends are convinced I’ve never seen the fancier section of my closet. They’re pretty much right. Also, my system isn’t perfect. Tom thinks I fold my t-shirts using a cardboard form so they’re all folded exactly the same size. I don’t. Maxine thinks I…well, let’s not get into what Maxine thinks about my underwear. It’s a sore subject.

Am I this organized in the rest of my life? Hell, no! But Maxine and Tom set me up with a system that’s easy to maintain. In my house, being in the closet is a good thing.

So far the thieves have ordered on my American Express card:
Mac computer(s)
Car stereo
Night vision goggles
Home stereo
Custom engraving (don’t know on what)
Auto anti-burglary service (don’t know what that even means)
Random electronics

By the time we shut it down this morning, the total was about $20,000. I’ll have a new card tomorrow.

It was the home stereo guys who thought it was odd that someone in Ohio would buy stuff and send it to LA, and they called me. Go, Woofers Etc! American Express explained that the thieves wait till UPS has the package, then call UPS and change the destination.

Too bad. I would actually like some night vision goggles. Probably not $2000 worth, though.

LA DWP (my local utility company) used to accept American Express, which I loved because I got rewards points (chilling this house isn’t cheap). They discontinued using American Express, so I figured I’d go back to writing checks. I got an email statement, which I ignored, because I had cancelled paperless billing, so my bill should arrive in the mail any day. Then I got an email overdue notice.

Somehow my paperless billing had gotten uncancelled, so I never got a bill in the mail. And we’re in a heat wave so I don’t want the electricity turned off. I recancelled paperless billing, and, after only three attempts on their stupid website (because apparently you can’t pay by phone, or if you can they’re sure not going to tell you on the website), I managed to pay the bill with that City National Bank Visa I never use. All’s well with me and LA DWP. For now.

Within 30 seconds, I got a call from CNB to verify the charge because I never use that card. The fraud police are all over my accounts today.

Oh, and I decided to pay my insurance with American Express for the points, too. You can only do that if you pay the full balance, so I wait until the last quarter’s bill and pay that one. Here’s how you pay bills online to Chartis. You try to go on their website, using their impossibly-complicated directions to get a username and password. That doesn’t work. You call and they send you an email with a new username/password. Which doesn’t work. Then the person on the phone gets locked out of the website. So you give her your credit card information over the phone, which you could have done in 30 seconds. Instead of spending an hour trying to make their website work. The woman on the phone thought that perhaps the website might be having problems. She sent me a new username/password and suggested I try again in a few days, just to see if I could get on the website, which I won’t need to use for another year. Yeah, I’ll get right on that.

Earlier I ordered some eyeglasses and–oh, why go through it, the website was a disaster. I emailed the company, and got this reply:

“We hate our website too! We’re supposed to get a new one this fall. Meanwhile, tell me what you need changed, and I’ll do it manually. The changes might not show up on your email confirmation (Bad website! Bad!), but I promise to make it right. Thank you for your patience.”

That made me smile.

Just what it sounds like. Anthony Schmitt has been creating holiday trees for 14 years at the Edgemar Complex on Main Street in Santa Monica. This year he used 86 carts, it’s 33 feet tall. Probably a comment on holiday consumerism, or perhaps the area’s homeless population. Either way, it’s pretty darn festive.